Grief Resources | Rachel's Gift

Final Arrangements for Your Baby

First 24 to 48 Hours After a Loss

In most situations, you will find yourself admitted to the hospital to miscarry or deliver your stillborn baby for a period of 24 to 48 hours. This is an average and can vary — especially if your baby spends time in the NICU or Emergency Department. Ideally, you will be given a few days to plan your baby's final arrangements; unfortunately, this is often not reality.

We know this is very overwhelming and you do not want to be thinking about end of life plans for your baby; however, these decisions cannot be readdressed later. It is vital that you take time now to make final arrangements so that you do not have regrets. Consider asking a close family member or friend help you through this process — someone who can follow through with the details of the arrangements after you have reached a decision.

Cremation
Burial
Hospital Disposition
Chaplain Services
Burial Gown
Online Memorial
Photography
Cremation allows you to keep your baby’s ashes with you and allows for flexibility in the future. You can choose at a later date to scatter or bury your baby’s ashes in a meaningful place. Almost all funeral homes will cremate a baby at a deeply discounted rate or for free. They will not advertise this. If you have previously dealt with a funeral home that you are comfortable working with again, call them first. If not, ask your nurse for a list of nearby funeral homes. Don’t be discouraged about what you hear from a funeral home. When one doesn’t offer what you need, move on to the next.

To lessen any cost, consider using the bear from your Rachel’s Gift box as an urn. The funeral home can easily cut your bear along its back, place the bag or vial of cremains inside, and stitch it back up. This can also be done with a special stuffed animal you purchased or received as a gift for your baby. There are also sweet, affordable urns from Heaven’s Gain, Artful Ashes, and others. If there is some associated cost you cannot afford, financial assistance is available. Scroll down to Financial Assistance for a list of organizations dedicated to assisting with the cost of cremation, funeral, and burial.

Heaven's Gain - Personalized urns and baby caskets for any gestation, including 1st trimester.

Artful Ashes - Beautiful handmade glass art memorials.
Burial allows your baby to be laid to rest in a place special to you. This option is typically the most costly. Often, cemeteries will let you bury your baby in another family member’s plot or have a special section for infants where the cost is better than purchasing an individual plot. If burial is your desire, resources and financial assistance are available — especially if you are a military family. Talk to several funeral homes to see who will offer you the best pricing. Many funeral homes are very generous when it comes to infant burial, and places like Trappist Caskets offer infant and toddler caskets at no cost (excluding shipping.)

Trappist Caskets -Made by the Trappist monks of New Melleray Abbey (Peosta, Iowa) and local laypersons. Caskets are built from solid wood (no veneers) using fine woodworking methods. As an important ministry of the monks, caskets are offered at no cost to families who have lost a child. Toll-free: (888) 433-6934

Military Families: To find out what resources and financial assistance are available to you, first contact your (or your spouse's) Commander or First Sergeant and then contact your Chaplain.
Hospital disposition is a free option and all it requires is for you to sign a form.

However, a lot of parents who choose this option have regrets later. In most situations parents have no idea where their baby ended up, they don’t have a place to go visit their child, or they don’t have their baby’s ashes with them always.

Laws vary by state as to what gestational ages can be offered this option, so ask your nurse for clarification.

Always consider your hospital’s procedures carefully when choosing this option.
If photography has not been offered to you, yet, please ask your nurse to take pictures or to let you know what your options are. We understand this is not something you may be thinking about at this time or even think you will want, however, the majority of families who do not capture images of their baby regret this lost opportunity. It is better to err on the side of caution and have someone capture some images. You can opt to have them sealed in an envelope and you never have to look at them if you don't want to but at least they are there if you change your mind in the future.
Cremation, Funeral, Burial Costs
Medical Costs
Additional Costs
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Angel Names Association
GRASP program provides funding for uninsured and underinsured families pursuing counseling services to work through the grief of stillbirth.
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NICU Helping Hands
The hospitalization of a baby in the NICU can leave a family financially unprepared. If you are a current NICU family experiencing financial difficulty, NICU Helping Hands may be able to assist you with grocery and gas expenses through their gift card program.
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Alaina's Gift
GRASP program provides funding for uninsured and underinsured families pursuing counseling services to work through the grief of stillbirth.
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Hayden's Helping Hands
GRASP program provides funding for uninsured and underinsured families pursuing counseling services to work through the grief of stillbirth.
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Our Children's Blessing
GRASP program provides funding for uninsured and underinsured families pursuing counseling services to work through the grief of stillbirth.
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Angel Names Association
The SEOLE program provides assistance with autopsy, funeral, burial, and cremation expenses for stillborn babies at least 20 gestational weeks old.
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Children's Burial Assistance
Provides assistance to families for the burial of a minor child, aged 1 to 17 years. Assistance can be used towards the open and closing of grave fees and cremation services.
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FlutterBy IzzyJane Foundation
Assists with funeral costs for stillborn babies age 24 gestational weeks or more.
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Our Children's Blessing
Assists with cremation/burial, funeral, and medical bills for the loss of a baby age 20 or more gestational weeks and infants up to 1 year old. First preference will go to residents of the Texas Panhandle area. Other applications will be considered if financial assistance is available.
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Raising BLUE
Assists with funeral costs for stillborn babies. For assistance, call (859) 814-6190 or reach out via Facebook.
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Rhett Sullivan Foundation
Assists with funeral, burial, monument, and counseling costs for the loss of a baby age 20 weeks gestation up to 2 years old. Rhett Sullivan Foundation is based in Texas and will focus on providing service to those in Texas first. They are able to provide funding to other locations upon review by their Board of Directors.
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Skyler's Gift Foundation
Assists with funeral and burial or crematory costs for babies born at or after 22 gestational weeks and then passed away in the NICU. You must apply online within 14 days of your baby's passing.
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The Alana Marie Project
Assists with financial expenses associated with cremation, funeral, and burial.
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The Luca John Foundation
Assists with funeral costs for stillborn babies or infants age 12 months and younger.
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The TEARS Foundation
Assists with financial expenses associated with cremation, funeral, and burial.
Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth / Certificate of Stillbirth
Certificates can be requested after you have been discharged and your hospital/physician has filed the necessary paperwork. At your request, your State Office of Vital Records can issue you a "Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth" or "Certificate of Stillbirth" to record and memorialize the birth of your stillborn child. Because laws vary by state, so do the certificates available to you. Some states offer certificates for babies less than 20 gestational weeks old. Visit state websites linked below for details and forms.
Select your state from the dropdown list:
* If your State is NOT listed in the dropdown list? Click here to find your state's Vital Records office.