Two Important Questions To Ask Before You Try Again After Pregnancy Loss
- by Samantha Sanabria
If you’ve attended a pregnancy loss support group through Rachel’s Gift, you have most likely learned that losing a pregnancy or infant affects people in various ways. It’s normal to experience an ebb and flow of emotions like guilt and anger. We want you to know that any feelings that you have surrounding your loss are 100% valid.
One thought that may come up after a loss is when to try again.
If the thought of trying for another baby soon scares you, that’s normal.
If the thought of trying for another baby soon is something you want, that’s normal.
If the thought of trying for another baby soon hasn’t even come to your mind, that’s normal, too.
While some women prefer not to try again right away, others may be ready immediately, and may be wondering when it’s okay to try again after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss.
There isn’t one right answer for everyone, but there are two questions you and your partner should consider before making the decision to try again.
Is my body ready to try again after my loss?
The question of how long to wait after miscarriage or stillbirth before trying again depends on many factors that are personal to your specific situation such as:
The American Pregnancy Association says that if you’re not having tests to determine the cause of the miscarriage, trying again is generally safe once you’ve gotten two or three menstrual periods. However, depending on the factors listed above, your health care provider may tell you that you need to wait longer.
As for when it is physically possible to become pregnant after a loss, the Mayo Clinic says that ovulation (and therefore pregnancy) could happen in as little as two weeks after a miscarriage (you’ll also want to abstain from sex for at least this long to avoid infection). It’s very important to keep this in mind if you don’t think you’ll be ready this soon.
If you and your partner think you’re ready to try again immediately, it’s important to talk to your health care provider first before making this decision as that person is the only one who can give you a direct answer.
Are we emotionally ready to try again?
This is the most important question to ask when it comes to when to try again after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss.
Are you and your partner emotionally ready to conceive again?
Losing a child, no matter how early in gestation, can take a mental and emotional toll on a couple. Grief is not linear, and there is no timeline for when a person, or couple, is finished with the active grieving process.
For many, grief is something that is carried and dealt with in waves for the rest of their lives.
It’s also something that varies from person to person in a relationship. One person may be able to move forward quicker than the other, and that’s okay.
The important thing to keep in mind is that when to try again after loss is a discussion that needs to be had between you and your partner. The discussion will not look the same from couple to couple, and it’s important to take into account each other’s feelings and emotions. It’s best to validate your partner’s feelings, whether or not they’re ready to try again, and to come to a decision when you are both ready.
If you’re experiencing a loss currently, have recently experienced one, or never processed a loss you had in the past, please consider joining the weekly pregnancy and infant loss support group by Rachel’s Gift. It’s currently held on Thursdays at 7pm EST via Zoom. This free group is open to both or either partner (men and women) and their family members. The group is led by licensed counselors and social workers and is a safe space to grieve among others who have had similar experiences. It has helped 800 people and counting through their loss journeys since its inception. Sign up today.
Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Groups
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The information on this website is provided for educational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. Do not rely solely on this information. Consult your health care provider for medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment.
Samantha is a freelance copywriter currently living in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. She experienced a second trimester loss in November 2021. She started attending the support group through Rachel’s Gift the following month where she found a supportive community of men and women also experiencing pregnancy loss. Samantha advocates for Down syndrome awareness as her daughter, Cecilia, was diagnosed with Down syndrome. She and her family participated in World Down Syndrome Day on March 21, 2022. Contact her at www.periodandpen.com.
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